


High-speed Idiocy

by EggplantBoi



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, M/M, Minor Violence, other characters are barely mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-19 22:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17010531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EggplantBoi/pseuds/EggplantBoi
Summary: His phone rings again, startling him as it breaks him out of his thoughts. Fuck it, he pulls the damn thing out of his pocket, fully expecting another call from the others.Small, drunk and angry is calling you…“Jeremy,” he gasps to himself, the feeling of relief washing over him.He can’t suppress his elation when he answers, “Jeremy!? Fuck, dude are you okay? We got your call about you being spotted and I -”Ryan hears a laugh on the other end that’s nothing like Jeremy’s. He loses the ability to speak, his mouth going dry.-Based off the prompt "Oh, kiss me, you idiot!"





	High-speed Idiocy

“You’re a fucking moron, Ryan! There’s no way you’re gonna get to him on time, come back we need you over-”

“Jeremy  _needs_  me more,” Ryan cuts Geoff off heatedly.   

He’s racing through downtown Los Santos on his motorbike, swerving through the traffic to the best of his ability while having a shouting match with Geoff, who he was currently on the phone with.

“Matt and Trevor are closer, they’re on their way back to help him! He’s going to be okay, Ryan trust -”

Ryan barely misses a car’s bumper, “I’m gonna have to hang up Geoff, It’s illegal to be on your phone while driving, y’know.”

“RYAN -”

“ _Boop,”_ he ends the call knowing very well he’ll have to deal with Geoff’s ire later. That didn’t matter right now though, what mattered right now was getting to Jeremy. 

They had received a call from him only moments ago, warning the rest of the crew that something went south on his end and that they should wrap things up. Trevor and Matt called confirming that they had to flee the scene too, announcing that an intense gunfight had broken out. 

The lights of the city blur past Ryan as he speeds, his anxiety rising as he gets closer to his destination. The sound of the blood rushing through his head is almost as loud as the whir of the motorbike’s engine.  _Jeremy’s probably fine,_ he tries to convince himself. 

He sees it now, off in the distance, the abandoned factory that Jeremy was supposed to be scoping from. The plan had been for Jeremy, Matt and Trevor to check out a turf negotiation going down between two rival gangs, while the others did raids and checks on their safe-houses when they were weak in numbers.

These things could get  _really_  ugly  _real_ fast. Usually other gangs blowing holes in each other was a blessing rather than a curse for The Fakes, but Jeremy was in the thick of it all and Ryan can’t quiet his rising fears of the worst possible outcome becoming a reality.

His phone is ringing again but he blocks out the sound with a rev of the engine as he narrowly passes down a side street. Whoever it is can fucking wait, he doesn’t need Geoff lecturing him again. The factory comes into proper view now, only blocked slightly by an overpass.

He comes to a halt, his eyes frantically searching from what he can see of the roof. Rimmy Tim’s suit is an eyesore of purple and orange, surely if one of the gang members spotted him, Ryan could too.

_Unless it’s too late._

His phone rings again, startling him as it breaks him out of his thoughts.  _Fuck it_ , he pulls the damn thing out of his pocket, fully expecting another call from the others. 

**Small, drunk and angry** **is calling you…**

“Jeremy,” he gasps to himself, the feeling of relief washing over him. 

He can’t suppress his elation when he answers, “Jeremy!? Fuck, dude are you okay? We got your call about you being spotted and I -”

Ryan hears a laugh on the other end that’s  _nothing_  like Jeremy’s. He loses the ability to speak, his mouth going dry.

When the laughing stops, a disgustingly smug voice comes through the receiver, “Rimmy Tim’s real name is  _Jeremy_ , huh?”

“Who is this?” Ryan demands in a low, threatening voice. The Vagabond within him slipping out.

“Well now, who knew someone with the name  _Ryan,_ who might I add, has a cute little heart next to their name,would sound so mean?” 

The way the voice says his name in a faux loving tone makes Ryan want to do a lot more than just kill him, he loses it. “Fuck you, what have you done with Jeremy!?”

“Oh, come on Vagabond, let’s not be like that. Or should I say,  _Ryan_?” 

Ryan’s about to explode verbally through the line, but then he sees it, someone standing near the edge of the roof of the factory, holding a beaten and bruised Jeremy up by the nape of his blazer. Ryan’s heart sinks, but at least Jeremy looks  _alive_. 

The man offers a little wave.

Ryan replies with a middle finger.

“Good, you see me.” He laughs, “your little  _buddy_  here fucked up our entire operation. We almost came to a peaceful compromise until everyone suspected that there was a sniper fucking with us. We all blamed each other, didn’t end well, as you can probably imagine.”

Ryan starts the ignition on his motorbike again, one hand tight on the clutch and the other almost crushing his phone. “I don’t care about your sob story, It’s not Jeremy’s fault you’re all bunch of goddamn idiots.”

“Oh? Well if you’re so smart yourself, Vagabond. Then maybe you can answer this riddle for me. What’s purple and orange and red all over?”

Ryan only has a moment to process the words, before the guy is dangling Jeremy over the edge. Ryan knows he’s alive for sure now, because even from the ground, Ryan can see the terror in his eyes. 

“JEREMY!”

“You want him? Come get him,” are the last words spoken before the gang member lets go of both Jeremy’s phone and Jeremy himself.

Ryan makes a split second decision and suddenly he’s accelerating towards where Jeremy is falling. He has to cut through a line of cars on the overpass, going into the opposite traffic. 

It’s a stupid idea, but it’s the only one he’s got. He reaches his arm out, closing in on his target, almost tipping his bike over in the process. Jeremy crashes into his outstretched arm and Ryan automatically hauls him in close. 

Jeremy grunts from the impact and Ryan let’s out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding in, the proximity making him feel at ease. His moment of respite is short lived however as he loses his grip on the handlebar, almost colliding with a car that blares it’s horn at his obvious offense of driving against the traffic. 

Ryan tries his best to regain control of his driving and dodge the oncoming traffic, but it’s not exactly the easiest feat when he’s also attempting to hold onto a barely conscious Jeremy. Ryan spots a gap on the overpass and in a last ditch effort to not get them both killed, he drives straight off the edge.

They’re in the air for  _seconds_ , before the bike comes down heavy on the grassy slope under the bridge. They go hurling forward off it, Ryan keeping Jeremy pressed desperately to his chest. 

Ryan lands back-first in the dirt. It hurts like  _dicks_ , but he’s pretty sure he hasn’t broken any bones at least. He blinks up at the starless sky in a daze, before feeling the man he’s clutching tightly start to move.

“You’re a  _maniac._..” Jeremy splutters, barely audible into Ryan’s chest. 

“Jeremy, fuck, are you alright?!”

Ryan does his best to prop himself up on his elbows as Jeremy rolls off his body onto the grass beside him. Ryan leans over his partner’s body to get a better look at his condition, only to find him _laughing_.

“Well, I got kind of fucked up back there.” Jeremy wheezes, looking like it hurts him. “Then some absolute jackass knocked my hat off me and stole my phone, called you, _my_  knight in shining armor - who showed up only to piss off the man holding my life at stake.” Ryan flinches at the last part, like a puppy being scolded. 

“I - I’m sorry, Jer. You were in danger and I just lost it. I was being stupid, I know.” Ryan pleas, reaching a hand out to caress Jeremy’s bruised features. 

Jeremy traps it in his own hand and continues to ramble.“Then. _.._ next thing you know, I’m falling to my death, _twice_.” 

“I’m  _sorry_ ,” spills out of Ryan’s mouth again. He’s almost ready to cry from putting his boyfriend through so much peril, until Jeremy interlaces their fingers together, a tired smile on his bloodied lips. Jeremy looks up at him through his eyelashes, shaking his head endearingly.  

“Still, you did save me in your own crazy ass way. You really are a  _freak_ , you know that?” Jeremy mutters, his mouth noticeably closer.

Ryan quirks his head to the side, “are you mad at me or not?” 

Jeremy rolls his eyes comically, his smile never fading though.“ **Oh, kiss me, you idiot!** ”

Jeremy yanks him forward using their intertwined fingers and Ryan’s lips fall onto Jeremy’s own. The metallic taste of blood stings on Ryan’s tongue and he’s pretty sure his own face-painted lips don’t taste any better. Nevertheless, Jeremy still sighs contentedly into the kiss, a hand coming up to tangle itself in Ryan’s ponytail.

Ryan’s hands grip the lad’s waists, the urgent need to have him closer building up inside him. Perhaps he is a little  _too_ possessive over Jeremy, but he almost lost him moments ago from his own foolish actions. He trails his hands boldly up Jeremy’s torso, sneaking up his shirt. Jeremy lets out an amused gasp in Ryan’s mouth, which turns into a sudden hiss of pain.  

“Shit, sorry.” Ryan pulls back abruptly, like  _he_  was the one who got hurt.

“It’s,  _ow_ , fine. They really did a number on my ribs. No broken bones, though, I think.” Jeremy waves a dismissive hand.

“We should get you checked out, come on.” Ryan frets, making a move to stand up.

“I’m fine, Ryan. It’s just, ah - woah -”

Ryan’s already lifting him up into his arms before Jeremy can protest, carrying him bridle style. 

“Jesus, Ryan. Warn a guy first. You’re probably in no better of a condition than I am, honestly.”

Ryan shoots him a cocky grin, “Nah, I’m a tough guy.”

“You’re an animal, is what you are.” Ryan chuckles at Jeremy’s comment, pressing a kiss to his colorful head. He was happier than anything to just have the feisty little man safe in his arms.

-

There was a lot of things that the crew needed an explanation for back at the safe-house. The unanswered calls, Jeremy’s lack of a phone, the busted up motorcycle, Trevor and Matt finding the two in a ditch and even Ryan needing his own medical attention. The answer the crew got back from Jeremy was short but descriptive.

 “Ryan’s an idiotic freak, but he’s  _my_  idiotic freak.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for any kudos or comments!


End file.
